Monday, April 29, 2013

giving up forums cold turkey

I had thrush when Sofi was about two months old. It is a nasty yeast infection that is passed between the baby's mouth and the mom's nipple. It was dreadful. And painful. And I was freaking out. I was reading the books I had to see what they said. And then when I wasn't satisfied with what the books said, I sought out answers online. It was the worst thing I could have done.

I didn't just visit websites like Kelly Mom and La Leche League. I visited forums where other moms who had similar issues posted about their experiences and what they did to get rid of the infection. I sent myself into a dizzying tailspin going back and forth between all of the forums, trying to figure out which two moms said the same thing because maybe that meant it worked, feeling beaten down by the moms who scolded those of us with thrush and reaching anxiety levels that I hadn't felt in forever. I did most of my reading while nursing Sofia. I would look down at her and feel like if I didn't find a cure, I was a horrible mother.

It was exhausting. I finally reached a point where I realized that reading everyone else's stories were keeping me from focusing on MY story. Even though thrush is common and mom after mom can write about their experiences, mine was going to be different. I needed to talk to my lactation consultant and then listen to my body. Once I did those two things (plus a round of antibiotics), the infection cleared up. I was amazed.

I decided to give up forums cold turkey. I decided to pick my baby resources and stick with them. For me, those were my lactation consultant, pediatrician, OBGYN and my body. Also, a few choice friends.

Another part of the forums that I just cannot wrap my head around is the inclination for moms to be mean to each other in their responses. I honestly was flabbergasted and sometimes offended when reading some of the answers to a desperate new mom's plea for help. How on earth can you have gone through the "newborn experience" and then not immediately feel it is your duty to do anything you can to help others going through the same thing? Maybe you can't offer advice that will help, but encouragement is so easy to offer. I would end up closing the window on my phone upset at what I had read when I shouldn't have been wasting my energy on such things.

I promise to always be encouraging to new moms. If you find that I'm not, please feel free to pull my hair and give me a shove.

1 comment:

kristen said...

This brings back so many memories for me. I got thrush around the same time as you and I (too) was completely miserable! I kept saying that I'd rather go through labor recovery all over again than experience the sharp, shooting pains of thrush. The websites and forums were certainly overwhelming!